1. |
Oxymoronic World
01:41
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We live in a world...
Of original copies and genuine imitations
Planned spontaneity and rehearsed improvisation
Actual re-enactments and virtual reality
Groups of real phonies acting naturally
Exact estimates to impossible solutions
Accurate rumours and initial conclusions
Small crowds growing smaller by negative growth
We procrastinate now and take insincere oaths
We’re just a bunch of oxymorons!
Who live in a world...
Of living dead found missing after a near miss
Openly deceptive military intelligence
Peacekeeper missiles and civil wars
Extinct life after humane slaughter
Running idle, going nowhere and non-stop flights
We keep open secrets and tell true lies
About victimless crime and harmless abuse
Now, then... wait... we’re all clearly confused!
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2. |
Burden of the Beast
02:02
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Typical and mediocre, the majority is cursed
Afraid of imperfection and being seen at your worst
Cosmetic cover-ups, just esthetics to impress
Avoid what you can’t do, so you’ll always have success
Every day’s a struggle to stay ahead of the curve
But if eugenics had an answer, would you have the nerve?
Being flawless in every way wouldn’t help you in the least
You just don’t understand, that burden is a beast
You think your life is hard. You’re commonhood averse
But the burden of the beast is a curse that’s much worse
Imagine being awesome, perfect without flaw
A target of misplaced anger, hatred, sneers and verbal assault
Yet looked up to by all, put upon a pedestal
Receive both shun and adoration, confused by the mixed signals
You grow your hair and put on weight to hide your chiseled features
Peeking through a hairy mask, a Hagrid-looking creature
Pretend to make mistakes, shrink your personality
Don a uniform of plaid to blend into the scene
Being bigger than life. Containing the perfect burst
But the burden of the beast is the curse that’s the worst
That's one sexy beast!
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3. |
Food for Thought
02:30
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Gotta clear your head of all the useless chatter
And dig your way down to the heart of the matter
Motivated only by financial greed
Scientists paid to mess with your livestock and seeds
Modified and altered for higher yield
Making toxic wastelands out of farmers’ fields
Pesticides in your food and bleach in your meat
Government agencies insist it’s safe to eat
Food for thought
You think the bureaucrats give a shit about your health?
Not when your best interests get in the way of their wealth
The only way to make change.. speak their language, make them listen
Stop feeding the pockets of the capitalist villains
It’s we the consumer who still holds all the power
Make a choice, don’t buy that shit, no poison cauliflower
Companies will make the shift to sell what people are buying
They’ll do whatever it takes to keep those sales from dying
Local business gains success on the backs of its own community
Closes up, moves offshore like a reverse mutiny
The only way to stop this trend is really in the message we send
Boycott their product, don’t buy their shit
Let the companies who stayed benefit
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4. |
Crazy Times
02:21
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The farce of real democrazy, imagined timocrazy
The illusion of choice and responsible government
It’s far from meritocrazy, self-serving laws and bureaucrazy
Paid for by the funding body hiding behind the scenes
A real-life idiocrazy, a hand-picked strumpetocrazy
Politicians fuck us for money, and spread their disease
Another kakistocrazy, sponsored by the corporatocrazy
Money talks, the dummies squawk... guess who pulls the strings
We’re living in crazy times
Crazy’s at the root of the government paradigm
Politicians posing as leaders
Doing the bidding of the highest bidders
The system has become the psychological soil
In which the myth-conception can flourish
It’s crazy to trust the system
It’s crazy to think voting will create change
It’s crazy to watch the puppet show
And to believe politicians work for us
It’s crazy to believe the system is broken
It was fixed from the outset
A capitalist demonocrazy, neo-colonial kleptocrazy
Set to reap the profits, while destroying land and lives
Eradicate chrysocrazy, eliminate plousiocrazy
Take down the plutocrazy... the crazy’s gotta stop!
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5. |
Drain the Swamp
02:41
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The state of the union
Is in a state of confusion
Because a screw’s been loosened
In the king of delusion
Obstruction and collusion
Created state of disillusion
He’s the problem not the solution!
Controversy and conspiracy
Hate, lies and hypocrisy
Superfluous hyperbole
From the ringmaster of absurdity
He’s making a mockery
Of your democracy
The truth about the swamp is what is called fake news
Time to get off your asses and raise a hullabaloo
Ongoing litigation
Constitutional suffocation
Institutional degradation
By a sideshow administration
And lobbyist organizations
The machine behind the machinations
Incompetence-riddled operation
State of emergency
State of urgency
Stop the insanity
The idiocy and perversity
No time for servility
So start an insurgency
Open up your eyes, rise up before we’re all screwed
Your number one is full of number two
He’s full of shit so drain the swamp!
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6. |
I'm Not Your Friend
02:04
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Let’s set things straight
I’m not your friend!
Let’s make things clear
I’m not your friend!
I’m an enemy of your enemy!
I’m not your friend!
You and I, we got a common enemy
Doesn’t mean that we’re gonna see
Eye to eye on anything or everything
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7. |
Whitewater Telescoping
02:32
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Danny went out to find a job, so he could afford his Meade LX-10
And book a trip to the Ottawa River, so he could do some star gazing
Floating down the middle of the river, tripod set up and tied down to the raft
Looking through the eyepiece into the sky, felt some turbulence on his craft
Started to pick up speed
Bouncing around a little bit
Keeping his eyeball glued to the piece
He started repeating...
“I see the moon, I don’t see the moon!”
Things calmed down for Danny again and he took a little breather
Watching Bill pick his nose, amazed as he got deeper and deeper
Back to looking at the stars like he was completely alone
Seeing Orion and Hercules gave young Danny a bone
Then it started happening again
The currents really picked up
But all he cared about were the stars
And his waiting picnic lunch
Bill wanted to go fishing, but Danny didn’t really care
Cuz he was as happy as a pig in shit looking up at all the stars out there
Bill started to get excited by the water he saw ahead
But Danny wouldn’t pay attention. he just wished that Bill were dead
The raft finally hit the first big wave
Bill yelled, “RIGHT ON!”
As he pulled out his rod and tacklebox
Danny heard Bill scream, “FISH ON!”
“I’m whitewater telescoping!”
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8. |
Man o' Meat
03:28
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Barking through the microphone in the key of Tesco Vee
Straight outta Lansing comes the Dutch Hercules
A punk rock fuckin’ Dinosaur, a Rock ‘n’ Roll Juggernaut
A bombastic, manic maelstrom of Michigan turbo rock
Full of piss and vinegar, and it’s boiling over
Shooting off his mouth like some loose lipped motherfucker
The whole world sucks, including me and you
Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true
Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat!
Controversial lyrics and antics – fuck politically correct!
All moral and personal boundaries he dares to overstep
Crude and lewd, never subdued braggadocio
With the Powercock Stud it’s always Touch and Go
Cynical, satirical, hate-filled fun
Irreverent skewering of everything and everyone
The whole world sucks, including me and you
Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true
Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat!
Running social commentary of what’s wrong with the world
A sick and twisted take on the ridiculous and the absurd
In a death match with Satan, the loser goes to Heaven
He’s paving the way to Hades and inviting all us heathens
Dangerous music for dangerous people
The PC police can’t suffocate this evil
Full of piss and vinegar and it’s boiling over
Shooting off his mouth like some loose lipped motherfucker
Perverted, macho, tough guy, or pencil neck geek?
Flogging society with a cavalcade of meat
The whole world sucks, including me and you
Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true
Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat!
And he’s got a problem with you!
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9. |
Factose Intolerant
02:43
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A steady diet of propaganda and conspiracy theories
A reality of falsehoods and alternative truths
Prepared with care; deliberate duplicity -- specialty of the chef
A popular dish on the daily menu
Made palatable for the masses; countless millions served
Factless assertions have become like comfort food
Seasoned for flavour
Simmered in the fat
Made easy to digest
Now serving ignorance and hate
You don’t believe the ingredients are harmful; you trust your gut
But the signs are there, when will you learn?
Fed a bunch of facts to balance your diet, but you can’t digest them
They make your head spin and your stomach churn
So used to the fat and the gristle, the meaty parts make you sick
Your intolerance to food for thought is cause for concern
Avoid the facts
It’s easier that way
No thinking required
Fuck the burden of proof!
Gorging on slanderous fantasy
Blindly consuming without scrutiny
Prejudice prepared in partisan kitchens
Who needs facts when there’s biased opinion?
What you wish to be true is all that matters
No matter of the facts and the manufactured
You put the rant in ignorant
When it comes to the facts you’re intolerant
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10. |
Hermaphroditic Peanut
02:14
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My partners and I are all somewhat odd
Usually in pairs, we’re like three peas in a pod
I’m stuck in between her and him? Him and her?
No telling signs of gender
I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut
I’m stuck in between him and her
I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut
Even I can’t tell my gender
I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut
I feel like a chick and a dude
I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut
I’m a confused legume!
Then in sex-ed class I learned about the birds and bees
And it explained away my enigmatic sexuality
In a nutshell, I’m no longer confused
About why I feel like a chick and a dude
Turns out I’m a hermaphroditic peanut
No longer a confused legume
Turns out I’m a hermaphroditic peanut
My friends are hermaphroditic too
Turns out we’re all hermaphroditic peanuts
Biologically confirmed and affirmed
I’m okay being a hermaphroditic peanut
After all, I’m an angiosperm
I’m no longer confused
I’m both a chick and a dude
I am and so are you
We’re not nuts! We’re legumes!
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11. |
The Death Machine
02:18
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They shut down the world in 2020
We’ve allowed something to dominate, the corporatocracy
And how could this have happened?
When you hear nothing, see nothing, say nothing
It’s the death machine!
And it’s coming for you and me!
It’s time to take a look in the mirror
We have all allowed this to come to be
It’s time to end this hypocrisy
The more I see, the less I believe
It’s the death machine!
And it’s killing humanity!
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12. |
E-G-G-M-A-N
02:05
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He’s punk as fuck
He says country sucks
He beats the skins
And eats bagel thins
Loves steak and cheese
And has broken knees
No, he ain’t no fake
Time for a mirror break
E-G-G-M-A-N
He smokes cigars
And drives an old guy car
Loves buffalo chicken burritos
And wears a 4-piece Speedo
His confidence ironclad
He’s 50 shades of plaid
The Number of the Egg...
258
Which came first, the egg or the man?
He’s the E-G-G-M-A-N
Enough about me. What do you think about me?!
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13. |
Psycho-Illogical
01:56
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Always offering unsolicited opinions and impressions
Psychoanalyzing others’ dreams and perceptions
Based on what’s considered a normal, healthy mind
Poorly deciphered meanings are often malign
Let the judgment commence
Your analysis makes no sense
Nothing rational, all pretense
And biased nonsense
You believe you have the human mind all figured out
Destroying self-confidence, creating self-doubt
Under delusions of grandeur, over all you transcend
Your interpretation is king, or so you contend
Psycho-illogical
Stop projecting your problems and insecurities
Your subconscious drives and desires have nothing to do with me
No rational evidence, it’s conjectured speculation
It’s hokum, not science, just pure confabulation
Forget your psychobabble and your psychology
Your mind manipulation can’t change or control me
No one needs your opinions or garbage diagnosis
Perhaps it’s you, not me, who struggles with psychosis!
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14. |
Insert It Here
02:21
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I wish I was a Muppet with your hand up my ass
You want to give up control
I wish I was a puppet with hand in my rectum
You don’t want to have to think anymore
Like Glove and Boots we’re gonna see right through it all
You want to live in a cartoon
We all grew up on Sesame Street after all
Being told what to say and what to do
Insert it where?
Insert it here
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A.S.O.P. Toronto, Ontario
A bunch of old punks sharing our modern take on hardcore punk with anyone brave enough to listen. Middle-aged anger,
frustration and disappointment with the state of the world, put to music.
The meaning of A.S.O.P. changes with our mood and/or the current state of affairs. Examples include Arguments Started Over Politics, Apathy Stifles Our Progress, and Accidentally Sarcastic On Purpose.
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