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It Ain't Right Anywhere

by A.S.O.P.

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1.
We live in a world... Of original copies and genuine imitations Planned spontaneity and rehearsed improvisation Actual re-enactments and virtual reality Groups of real phonies acting naturally Exact estimates to impossible solutions Accurate rumours and initial conclusions Small crowds growing smaller by negative growth We procrastinate now and take insincere oaths We’re just a bunch of oxymorons! Who live in a world... Of living dead found missing after a near miss Openly deceptive military intelligence Peacekeeper missiles and civil wars Extinct life after humane slaughter Running idle, going nowhere and non-stop flights We keep open secrets and tell true lies About victimless crime and harmless abuse Now, then... wait... we’re all clearly confused!
2.
Typical and mediocre, the majority is cursed Afraid of imperfection and being seen at your worst Cosmetic cover-ups, just esthetics to impress Avoid what you can’t do, so you’ll always have success Every day’s a struggle to stay ahead of the curve But if eugenics had an answer, would you have the nerve? Being flawless in every way wouldn’t help you in the least You just don’t understand, that burden is a beast You think your life is hard. You’re commonhood averse But the burden of the beast is a curse that’s much worse Imagine being awesome, perfect without flaw A target of misplaced anger, hatred, sneers and verbal assault Yet looked up to by all, put upon a pedestal Receive both shun and adoration, confused by the mixed signals You grow your hair and put on weight to hide your chiseled features Peeking through a hairy mask, a Hagrid-looking creature Pretend to make mistakes, shrink your personality Don a uniform of plaid to blend into the scene Being bigger than life. Containing the perfect burst But the burden of the beast is the curse that’s the worst That's one sexy beast!
3.
Gotta clear your head of all the useless chatter And dig your way down to the heart of the matter Motivated only by financial greed Scientists paid to mess with your livestock and seeds Modified and altered for higher yield Making toxic wastelands out of farmers’ fields Pesticides in your food and bleach in your meat Government agencies insist it’s safe to eat Food for thought You think the bureaucrats give a shit about your health? Not when your best interests get in the way of their wealth The only way to make change.. speak their language, make them listen Stop feeding the pockets of the capitalist villains It’s we the consumer who still holds all the power Make a choice, don’t buy that shit, no poison cauliflower Companies will make the shift to sell what people are buying They’ll do whatever it takes to keep those sales from dying Local business gains success on the backs of its own community Closes up, moves offshore like a reverse mutiny The only way to stop this trend is really in the message we send Boycott their product, don’t buy their shit Let the companies who stayed benefit
4.
Crazy Times 02:21
The farce of real democrazy, imagined timocrazy The illusion of choice and responsible government It’s far from meritocrazy, self-serving laws and bureaucrazy Paid for by the funding body hiding behind the scenes A real-life idiocrazy, a hand-picked strumpetocrazy Politicians fuck us for money, and spread their disease Another kakistocrazy, sponsored by the corporatocrazy Money talks, the dummies squawk... guess who pulls the strings We’re living in crazy times Crazy’s at the root of the government paradigm Politicians posing as leaders Doing the bidding of the highest bidders The system has become the psychological soil In which the myth-conception can flourish It’s crazy to trust the system It’s crazy to think voting will create change It’s crazy to watch the puppet show And to believe politicians work for us It’s crazy to believe the system is broken It was fixed from the outset A capitalist demonocrazy, neo-colonial kleptocrazy Set to reap the profits, while destroying land and lives Eradicate chrysocrazy, eliminate plousiocrazy Take down the plutocrazy... the crazy’s gotta stop!
5.
The state of the union Is in a state of confusion Because a screw’s been loosened In the king of delusion Obstruction and collusion Created state of disillusion He’s the problem not the solution! Controversy and conspiracy Hate, lies and hypocrisy Superfluous hyperbole From the ringmaster of absurdity He’s making a mockery Of your democracy The truth about the swamp is what is called fake news Time to get off your asses and raise a hullabaloo Ongoing litigation Constitutional suffocation Institutional degradation By a sideshow administration And lobbyist organizations The machine behind the machinations Incompetence-riddled operation State of emergency State of urgency Stop the insanity The idiocy and perversity No time for servility So start an insurgency Open up your eyes, rise up before we’re all screwed Your number one is full of number two He’s full of shit so drain the swamp!
6.
Let’s set things straight I’m not your friend! Let’s make things clear I’m not your friend! I’m an enemy of your enemy! I’m not your friend! You and I, we got a common enemy Doesn’t mean that we’re gonna see Eye to eye on anything or everything
7.
Danny went out to find a job, so he could afford his Meade LX-10 And book a trip to the Ottawa River, so he could do some star gazing Floating down the middle of the river, tripod set up and tied down to the raft Looking through the eyepiece into the sky, felt some turbulence on his craft Started to pick up speed Bouncing around a little bit Keeping his eyeball glued to the piece He started repeating... “I see the moon, I don’t see the moon!” Things calmed down for Danny again and he took a little breather Watching Bill pick his nose, amazed as he got deeper and deeper Back to looking at the stars like he was completely alone Seeing Orion and Hercules gave young Danny a bone Then it started happening again The currents really picked up But all he cared about were the stars And his waiting picnic lunch Bill wanted to go fishing, but Danny didn’t really care Cuz he was as happy as a pig in shit looking up at all the stars out there Bill started to get excited by the water he saw ahead But Danny wouldn’t pay attention. he just wished that Bill were dead The raft finally hit the first big wave Bill yelled, “RIGHT ON!” As he pulled out his rod and tacklebox Danny heard Bill scream, “FISH ON!” “I’m whitewater telescoping!”
8.
Man o' Meat 03:28
Barking through the microphone in the key of Tesco Vee Straight outta Lansing comes the Dutch Hercules A punk rock fuckin’ Dinosaur, a Rock ‘n’ Roll Juggernaut A bombastic, manic maelstrom of Michigan turbo rock Full of piss and vinegar, and it’s boiling over Shooting off his mouth like some loose lipped motherfucker The whole world sucks, including me and you Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat! Controversial lyrics and antics – fuck politically correct! All moral and personal boundaries he dares to overstep Crude and lewd, never subdued braggadocio With the Powercock Stud it’s always Touch and Go Cynical, satirical, hate-filled fun Irreverent skewering of everything and everyone The whole world sucks, including me and you Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat! Running social commentary of what’s wrong with the world A sick and twisted take on the ridiculous and the absurd In a death match with Satan, the loser goes to Heaven He’s paving the way to Hades and inviting all us heathens Dangerous music for dangerous people The PC police can’t suffocate this evil Full of piss and vinegar and it’s boiling over Shooting off his mouth like some loose lipped motherfucker Perverted, macho, tough guy, or pencil neck geek? Flogging society with a cavalcade of meat The whole world sucks, including me and you Tesco Vee said so, so it must be true Cuz he’s the Man o’ Meat! And he’s got a problem with you!
9.
A steady diet of propaganda and conspiracy theories A reality of falsehoods and alternative truths Prepared with care; deliberate duplicity -- specialty of the chef A popular dish on the daily menu Made palatable for the masses; countless millions served Factless assertions have become like comfort food Seasoned for flavour Simmered in the fat Made easy to digest Now serving ignorance and hate You don’t believe the ingredients are harmful; you trust your gut But the signs are there, when will you learn? Fed a bunch of facts to balance your diet, but you can’t digest them They make your head spin and your stomach churn So used to the fat and the gristle, the meaty parts make you sick Your intolerance to food for thought is cause for concern Avoid the facts It’s easier that way No thinking required Fuck the burden of proof! Gorging on slanderous fantasy Blindly consuming without scrutiny Prejudice prepared in partisan kitchens Who needs facts when there’s biased opinion? What you wish to be true is all that matters No matter of the facts and the manufactured You put the rant in ignorant When it comes to the facts you’re intolerant
10.
My partners and I are all somewhat odd Usually in pairs, we’re like three peas in a pod I’m stuck in between her and him? Him and her? No telling signs of gender I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut I’m stuck in between him and her I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut Even I can’t tell my gender I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut I feel like a chick and a dude I feel like a hermaphroditic peanut I’m a confused legume! Then in sex-ed class I learned about the birds and bees And it explained away my enigmatic sexuality In a nutshell, I’m no longer confused About why I feel like a chick and a dude Turns out I’m a hermaphroditic peanut No longer a confused legume Turns out I’m a hermaphroditic peanut My friends are hermaphroditic too Turns out we’re all hermaphroditic peanuts Biologically confirmed and affirmed I’m okay being a hermaphroditic peanut After all, I’m an angiosperm I’m no longer confused I’m both a chick and a dude I am and so are you We’re not nuts! We’re legumes!
11.
They shut down the world in 2020 We’ve allowed something to dominate, the corporatocracy And how could this have happened? When you hear nothing, see nothing, say nothing It’s the death machine! And it’s coming for you and me! It’s time to take a look in the mirror We have all allowed this to come to be It’s time to end this hypocrisy The more I see, the less I believe It’s the death machine! And it’s killing humanity!
12.
E-G-G-M-A-N 02:05
He’s punk as fuck He says country sucks He beats the skins And eats bagel thins Loves steak and cheese And has broken knees No, he ain’t no fake Time for a mirror break E-G-G-M-A-N He smokes cigars And drives an old guy car Loves buffalo chicken burritos And wears a 4-piece Speedo His confidence ironclad He’s 50 shades of plaid The Number of the Egg... 258 Which came first, the egg or the man? He’s the E-G-G-M-A-N Enough about me. What do you think about me?!
13.
Always offering unsolicited opinions and impressions Psychoanalyzing others’ dreams and perceptions Based on what’s considered a normal, healthy mind Poorly deciphered meanings are often malign Let the judgment commence Your analysis makes no sense Nothing rational, all pretense And biased nonsense You believe you have the human mind all figured out Destroying self-confidence, creating self-doubt Under delusions of grandeur, over all you transcend Your interpretation is king, or so you contend Psycho-illogical Stop projecting your problems and insecurities Your subconscious drives and desires have nothing to do with me No rational evidence, it’s conjectured speculation It’s hokum, not science, just pure confabulation Forget your psychobabble and your psychology Your mind manipulation can’t change or control me No one needs your opinions or garbage diagnosis Perhaps it’s you, not me, who struggles with psychosis!
14.
I wish I was a Muppet with your hand up my ass You want to give up control I wish I was a puppet with hand in my rectum You don’t want to have to think anymore Like Glove and Boots we’re gonna see right through it all You want to live in a cartoon We all grew up on Sesame Street after all Being told what to say and what to do Insert it where? Insert it here

credits

released January 3, 2023

Produced, Engineered, Mixed & Mastered by "Gerg" Greg Dawson
March 2022 at BWC Studios, Kingston, Ontario

Drums - Dan Shimbart
Guitar / Vocals - Rob Aitchison
Guitar / Vocals - Jeremy Mogk
Lead Bass - Gerry Lebeuf

Cover Art - Jeremy Mogk
Background Photo incorporated into Cover Art - Dan Shimbart (Photo of NGC 7635, the "Bubble Nebula" taken via telescope)

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A.S.O.P. Toronto, Ontario

A bunch of old punks sharing our modern take on hardcore punk with anyone brave enough to listen. Middle-aged anger, frustration and disappointment with the state of the world, put to music.

The meaning of A.S.O.P. changes with our mood and/or the current state of affairs. Examples include Arguments Started Over Politics, Apathy Stifles Our Progress, and Accidentally Sarcastic On Purpose.
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